Added: Elli Aston - Date: 28.09.2021 13:59 - Views: 16032 - Clicks: 7815
Emotional abuse is widespread and hugely underreported. This is partly because many people do not realise that they are being emotionally abused. I am seeing a client at the moment who feels as if she is going crazy. No one else in her life makes her feel this way and this feeling only manifests with her boyfriend. She has agreed to list the behaviours for this blog post:. I have always seen myself as competent and able yet since being with him, my confidence has disappeared and continuously doubt How my boyfriend makes me feel.
It has happened slowly over time but I realised recently that I had become a shell of my former self. I have lost my sparkle. I am quiet, subdued and compare myself unfavourably to everyone else. I never used to be this way. Here are examples of what I have experienced in this relationship:. End of discussion. As a result communication has shut down because his version stands and there is no room for any other interpretation. This long term effect of this has led me to doubt my perceptions of things.
I can feel a certain way but he tells me that I am basically wrong to feel that way. Where do you go with that? Instead of trying to have empathy and to look at how his behaviour might be influencing me, he blocks communication and bullies me into his version. MANDY: A stable, emotionally healthy man would genuinely want to understand why his behaviour was having a negative effect on his partner. This is emotional abuse — plain and simple. And so the self doubt creeps in further.
A caring partner is open to communicating and learning how best to negotiate and compromise to keep the relationship happy. A mature person will adopt an assertive win-win attitude instead of an aggressive, How my boyfriend makes me feel position ie. Abuse, abuse, abuse — carefully crafted and subtle but abuse nonetheless. He also once told me that I was the only one who always seemed to get it wrong. He seems incapable of looking at his part in the interaction.
Recently he borrowed something of mine and asked me to remind him to give it back. One night I tripped over his sports bag that he had left right in the doorway. When I asked him to please not leave it right in the doorway, he told me it was my fault for tripping as I should have put the light on. I am sure if I had done that I would have been in trouble for putting the light on in the middle of the night.
He withholds information from me. I believe he does this as a way to feel in control. I think he does this as a way to feel superior. It feels good for him to have information that could help me but that he can keep to himself — makes him feel powerful. Leaves me feeling stupid.
Of course, I will have no clue as to what he is referring to and ask him what he means. He will then say in a vague way that if there is anything he should know then now is the time to tell him, if not then I have nothing to worry about. I have learned that this is his way suggesting that he knows more than I think he knows. This is his amateurish way of trying to get me to confess to anything that How my boyfriend makes me feel might need to know. He has never trusted me even though he says he does…I have never been unfaithful so this tactic of his never works.
I feel insulted that he even has to say it. I guess he imagines that if I ever do anything to be unfaithful, he will get me to confess this way. Although he would never ever admit it, his behaviour makes me think he is very insecure. He feels inferior and so enforcing his worldview on me helps him to feel better about himself.
Why did you say that?. I feel I am constantly having to defend and explain myself and my actions even for small things. Attack seems to be their best line of defense. He will have one set of rules for me and another set for himself. Hypocrite comes to mind. He will do things that would be completely unacceptable if I did them but if I try talk about this double standard he will have some clever way to wiggle out of it.
Once we were eating How my boyfriend makes me feel and I needed a toilet break. I found myself almost asking for permission — I said. He would never be that direct and tell me I was not allowed to go to the loo. So, I feel I am gojng out of my mind, he does very little to help me believe otherwise. He regularly says things like. He will never back down and question himself, it will always be that I have forgotten. This rarely happens with my friends and family and thankfully, my very different experiences with my friends and family is probably the only thing that keeps me from going completely insane.
I wanted to write about this because manipulation, control and emotional abuse takes many many forms and the alarm bells should start going off for you when you find that you doubt your sanity — especially in relation to your partner. I had become depressed and anxious. I withdrew from the world.
If you feel this way no matter who you are dealing with, it might be worth seeking professional help. Get help before you really do go mad!!
Trust your instincts and if in doubt, give yourself away from your partner in order to see if you feel as crazy and doubtful away from them. This form of crazymaking is a way to gain control, to make you doubt yourself to the point where you begin to take on their viewpoints and become more pliable and easier to control. It is an invisible form of control and everyone is susceptible no matter who you are, your background or your socio-economic status. Photo by Dima Bushkov. Thanks Mandy. Boyfriend makes me feel I am crazy Emotional abuse is widespread and hugely underreported.
Get objective help to strengthen your confidence and make decisions in your best interests. Next Article New Relationship Checklist. You may also like Sorry, your blog cannot share posts by .How my boyfriend makes me feel
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