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Arthur Spooner: Why do we have to sit so close to the kitchen? Is it because we're black? Doug Heffernan: "Warning: Please retain key as refrigerated trucks are not equipped with interior door handles". Mother of ass!
Kelly Palmer: Something brainless. What's that thriller where the Earth starts to lose its gravitational pull? Carrie Spooner Heffernan: Dad, I told you. If you want a grilled cheese sandwich, I will make you one. Doug Heffernan: All right, I'm glad you're all gathered here. Because you're about to hear the story of a driver, a swollen ankle, and get this, an iguana.
Arthur Spooner: You know, we're quite a team. Like Jake and the Fatman. Needless to say, I'm Jake. Arthur Spooner: [to Doug] Well, I hope you didn't strain yourself. I kid out of love. Arthur Spooner: Carrie heffernan sexy, Paris. I haven't been back there since we liberated her in ' The City Of Lights knew peace once more. I also got the clap, but that's a another story for another time.
Arthur Spooner: It seems to have reached optimal temperature. Now hit me with a load of Dougie batter. Doug Heffernan: He's out of his mind! He cancelled our cable, because the cable company wouldn't pay him each time they ran the movie "Arthur"! Doug Heffernan: I'm going to come up with something so romantic and Carrie heffernan sexy it's gonna make you feel like a piece of crap! A piece of crap!
Arthur Spooner: You gotta hand it to those Japanese, though, clever people. Still a mystery to me how we ever got them to surrender in the Second World War. Carrie Spooner Heffernan: I'm moving him up here tonight, the basement was freezing. Doug Heffernan: No big deal. We'll just reload the dishwasher and wash 'em. Okay, which of these did you already put away?
Arthur Spooner: Let's see, I definitely remember putting away a blue bowl with big white and yellow sunflowers on it. Doug Heffernan: It's Carrie. The weirdest thing, every time we get together with our friends to play board games, she cheats. Arthur Spooner: No, no. She may put some cotton in her bra from time to time, but she does not cheat at board games! Ray Barone: What you got going on here? Log of salami, chips and cheese. I guess you're not buying in to this whole cholesterol thing, huh? Doug Heffernan: I buy in to it, I just wanna see how high I can get the s. Arthur Spooner: Sure, Douglas, you're white Carrie heffernan sexy.
You rode the frog to the top, but lady luck can be a fickle whore. Carrie Spooner Heffernan: Dad, why have you been hanging around that school playground? Arthur Spooner: Let's just say Carrie heffernan sexy will be running home to their mommies to tell them about their encounter with the Ribbon Man.
Kelly Palmer: Okay, honey you are all set. Here is your "see and say" Here is pinkys, whites, towels, diapers and buttcream. Doug Heffernan: Hello Oh, hold on a second, let me get him Arthur Spooner: Thank you; and what can I say except: I hope you die, you fat pig! Deacon Palmer: Wow, you know for someone who's done nothing wrong, you've dug yourself quite a hole here.
Carrie Heffernan: [on machine] It's me. Listen, real quick, there's a pie Carrie heffernan sexy the fridge. It's for my book club, please don't touch it. Spence Olchin: I was in the other day. I told her I was allergic to peanuts, and Sienna remembered. Danny Heffernan: That doesn't mean she's into you, alright. It means she doesn't want to have to open your throat with a pen. Ken: [on answering machine] Hi, it's Ken. Anyway, I'd love to take you up on that cup of coffee. Call me. Jessica: [on machine] I can't help thinking about last Saturday, lying naked in the sand.
I still quiver when I think about being with you. Carrie Heffernan: She did, and Doug was afraid that I would think it was him! Renee: [to Carrie about a jacket she bought] That salesman had a real attitude, if I didn't want this so much, I'd feed him his own toupee. Doug Heffernan: I hope this tattoo's temporary, what the hell is that, a turtle eating an apple. Doug Heffernan: I'd eat my own foot if it was wrapped in bacon Carrie heffernan sexy cooked in butter.
Doug Heffernan: Hey Arthur, come on up for breakfast. You know I can't start my day without my two scoops of Artie. Doug Heffernan: You're trying to take my downstairs wife; you don't even have a downstairs. Holly Shumpert: I spent all day making Doug's favorite dishes but now they're getting cold, does he care?
No because he's with some girl at his precious hockey game. Doug Heffernan: [after telling the guys he has a downstairs and upstairs wife] Hol, the paper came today, it's a little wet and I wanted to read the sports section. Arthur Spooner: I'll handle the lyrics, and you look like the sort who can write music.
Arthur Spooner: I think you know what that means, Mr. Lou Ferrigno: Well, first of all, there's at least three characters named Mike. Arthur Spooner: Let me ask you something, Lou. Have you ever met anyone else named Lou? Arthur Spooner: Slice of life, my friend. I just writes it like I Carrie heffernan sexy it. So, what's the next step? Can you get me a meeting at the William-Morris office? Arthur Spooner: I understand your problem.Carrie heffernan sexy
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Carrie Heffernan Quotes